Monday, November 5, 2012

SWEATER GIRLS (WORLD PREMIERE HOME VIDEO - 1978)

Ahh, those 1950’s summer memories: The drive-in, the soda shop, the make-out point, your house invaded by a group of drunk rapists. This is a very uncomfortable comedy. Not surprising given that director Donald M. Jones prior to this made "Schoolgirls In Chains" and "The Love Butcher." 

During 4th of July weekend a group of girls make a virginity pact after growing tired of their boyfriend’s persistent advances. They each wear matching sweaters to show solidarity. Even Joella (Julie Parsons, "Hometown U.S.A."), the town tramp, is in on the deal. This course of action makes the already sexually frustrated town boys even more crazy and out of control. They try to blow off steam by having a little fun at the lake. For the first part of the film they can’t stop talking about the lake. They’re going to drink beers there and have just the best time. It’ll be such a blast that they’ll even let the nerd partake. This lake seems like it’s gonna be a cool place. Now dear reader let me tell you with no exaggeration that this is without a doubt the worst movie lake I have ever seen. It is literally a puddle in the desert. I wouldn’t even give it that much credit. It looks more like they sprayed some dirt down with a hose. It is just some wet ground in the middle of nowhere. The façade is ruined even more when they are finished partying and drive ACROSS the lake. 

The men in this film are real boneheads. Most of their screen time is filled with them wrasslin’, peeing, vomiting, and littering. All of this while they are drunk out of their minds. Not since "Leaving Las Vegas" have characters been this drunk for most of a movie. After some dangerous intoxicated drag racing the dudes finally decide to crash the first official sweater girls meeting. They storm a house by loudly stumbling through 2nd story windows and doorways. The scene is comically terrifying; "Assault On Precinct 13" by way of Foster Brooks. What’s most strange about this sequence is how not frightened the girls are. When they notice the first inebriated idiot passing by a window, one of the girls says very matter-of-factly that it’s “probably just a rapist.” This shocking casualness is continued later on when Joella has no problem ultimately with the nerd forcing himself upon her. Yes folks, this movie is supposed to be a comedy. Another questionable moment features a nude man post attempted rape, falling down a flight of stairs, ending up unconscious with a boner.

Jones later did cinematography for "Goin’ All The Way!"

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